Monday, August 30, 2010

I am so glad I'm auditing.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you—but here it is, my first blog about photography class. I just finished week one. Assignment: create a self portrait with a prop that illustrates something about me. Now how hard can that be?

I go buy a tripod (short pause here while I take a brief, unplanned detour with a monopod. I will wait patiently while some explains to me the purpose of a one-legged camera stand.) I pile up a bunch of books, stick a pen behind my ear, and shazam, I’m ready. Set the timer, snap away. Change backgrounds, snap away. Move around the house, snap some more.

Three battery charges later I am so frustrated I could scream…wait…I did. Why is this so complicated?! It’s a self portrait, for Pete’s sake! I’m not looking to win a Pulitzer for it, just get a decent picture by midnight so my first assignment won’t be late. The problem I’m having is that none of the pictures I take are of me. They’re of some old woman I’ve never met. She has crow’s feet. Her forehead looks like the back yard of a train station. And what’s up with that neck? Ok, who invited her! WHY IS THIS OLD WOMAN HORNING HER WAY INTO ALL MY SHOTS???

Lesson one: You can lie to yourself all you want, but your camera will always be honest with you. Brutally, barefacedly honest.


  1. Yeah, stop your whining. I'm going to start carrying around a photocopy of my driver's license on my forehead because, yet again, I was given a senior discount without even being asked if I was old enough for it. People are so cruel!

  2. aw I like to read what you right I totally felt like I was in your head lol and I felt your frustration for sure and you are very beautiful with or without crows feet! =D

  3. Hey--OLD is good. We improve with age...etc...etc... It's TRUE!

    Put on a hat, hold a golf club in front of your face, and no one will know how old you are.